Hamburg!!

Warning: Totally Crazy Last Minute Ridiculous Girls Weekend Ahead!

Somehow I ended up in Hamburg and Kiel this weekend. These places are in the north of Germany, right on the sea so I basically got to drive from very south in Germany aallll the way across the country to the top!

Yes, we DROVE! On the autobahn at that, 5 girls and too many clothes, shoes and snacks crammed into a golf averaging at about 160-180 km an hour all the way there (about a 7 hour drive). We definitely had it going over 200 km an hour at times, the fastest I've ever been in my life. Sometimes the car started to shake... I think it was trying to tell us something.

We sang. Turns out multiple tone deaf girls singing at the tops of their lungs is not a beautiful noise, but it was fun anyway. This is Lillan, me and Emily rocking out in the back.
We played road games, we ate constantly, we drank. Turns out you can do that in the cars here. It's a good thing too, because on the way back the heat blew the cork out of a bottle of champagne we had in the back. Clearly it was a sign that we were meant to drink it. I am soo getting arrested when I come back to Canada. They also sell 1 liter cans of beer in Germany...that was an exciting discovery.

Alright, enough sounding like an alcoholic (I swear I'm not mom), we did lots of other stuff too.

One of the girls I was traveling with was actually born in Germany and her cousin in Hamburg who was leaving for the weekend was awesome enough to give us the keys to his apartment.

I was the only girl to come out of the weekend without a pair of Birkenstocks. I guess they're made here and so they're CHEAP! Didn't have my size. So ya, we shopped. And ate some more. Hamburg is a really modern city as it was so extensively bombed during the wars, and is totally different from the south of Germany. I can also actually understand the German there a little better. Swabian is very very slurry.

In the evening we headed back to the apartment to relax, get pretty, play an all revealing game of "Never Have I Ever.." which I usually reserve for playing only with strangers... (needless to say, hilarity ensued). Then around midnight we headed out for a night (morning?) on the Reeperbahn.

What is the Reeperbahn? Well, what ISN'T the Reeperbahn. This street was alive, so, so alive and we had a ridiculous good night. Hamburg has in fact the largest Red Light District in all of Europe. There's even one street that you aren't allowed to go down unless you're male and over 18. Everybody keeps asking me if I went down it...HELLO!? Do I look like an 18 year old male to you? If your answer is yes you better keep it to yourself.

This street is filled with people at all hours (we tested it...said goodnight to the sun before the night was through), sex shops, strip clubs...you name it, you can get it on the Reeperbahn. We danced like crazy at a couple of rock clubs. The second one we went into, the sun was already coming up and it was pretty empty but we got the dance floor going and it actually filled up a little bit. Here's Lillan, Emily, me and Allison and some randoms who jumped into the shot.
Next stop: The famous fischmarkt, or fish market if you prefer English. It was about breakfast time and the thing is pretty much over by 8 a.m. so Lil, Les and I thought we'd go find it and bring back some breakfast while Em and Alli went home to pass out. Or tried to go home. We sent them on the wrong train. Oops.

Alright, so we're asking randoms where the fischmarkt is. Apparently "Wo ist die fischmarkt" is Turkish for "I want you to come home and sleep with me". I learn a lot on these trips. One guy we asked actually followed us off the sbahn and had his hands all over Les despite the enormously negative responses we were giving him. I actually slapped him to get him to leave. So, we go into a gas station, ask somebody else, walk down by the harbor...NO FISH MARKET! I guess it's only on Sunday's. You'd think at least one of the 8 million locals we asked could have told us that.

Alright, so the sun is up, there is no fish, people are out walking their dogs. It's time to go home to bed. BUT we get back to the sbahn station only to find we have quite the wait for the next train. I use my time productively by catching some zzz's on a bench. I felt and looked like a homeless person, and all I could think was "My mom would be proud of me right now".
The train comes. We get on. It takes us back. We get off, look right and there are the other two people we separated from AGES ago getting off the same train. We all break down in fits and giggles. No fish and little sleep makes for some giggly girls.

Up we get the next day, much later than we'd planned and head for Kiel. There was some sailing thing going on and a big festival so there was lots to see and do. "Never Have I Ever.." seen such big boats before in my life!!!! The harbor was fantastic. We watched Germany kick Sweden's bum downtown, an enthusiastic electric air guitar sent my camera flying across the street, I saw a hot air balloon shaped like a fork lift...what a day.
Here we split again, 4 of us grab some food and watch the Mexico vs. Argentina game (really wanted Mexico to win..Germany is going to have to FIGHT for the next round against Argentina) while our 5th went off with some German friends. Some middle aged men came in and sat in our way, and then proceeded to get us free beers since they apparently knew the owner of the establishment. Highlight of this, was the free beer. My German is less than respectable, to say the very very least and these guys did not speak English. One guy's dream is to move to America and open a Doner kebap and pizza shop. Reach high... Another guy took a liking to me...but as we couldn't communicate he just kept saying my name over and over and OVER again, waving a noisemaker in my face and touching my arm. He said he'd teach me German. My first lesson would be the word 'To Kiss'. Ick. Ickickick.

Alright it's go time. Mexico loses, the beers are empty, and we need to meet up with our friend at one of the 8 million H&M's they have in every city in Europe for the drive back to Hamburg. While standing there waiting I learn to tie cherry stems in a knot with my tongue.

A random approaches. Enters our circle, and just looks at us. Can we help you sir? "When I was a boy I went to Africa and....". Whhaatt?!?! So this guy was loaded, couldn't find his car, and his friends had all left him to go to bed or something and he had no idea where they were or where he was. Hilarity ensued. After meeting up with our 5th and ditching hammered guy we realize that even though we are sober and know where all of our friends are...where we left the car is another matter. Dammit.

Some time later we find the car. It's right where we left it. I sleep on the way home and then we visit the harbor in Hamburg at 2 a.m. This was really amazing and I'm glad I got dragged out there despite the fact I couldn't keep my eyes open at this point. The lights were gorgeous, the boats were gorgeous, apparently the sea smelled gorgeous but I really couldn't smell anything so I have to take people's word for that.
Oh right, during our time away from Stuttgart hundreds of English Hooligans (Hooligan deserves a capital 'H' I think) infiltrated Stuttgart, got stupid drunk, chanted horrible songs about the war (I believe one was something about two World Wars and one World Cup), understandably pissed off the Germans and caused a riot. Somewhere between 250 and 300 English were arrested and JP found somebody lying in the street in a pool of their own blood. And we missed all of it. Dammit.

We tried to make it back in time for the English game but were too late. We couldn't find home, and I think the aforementioned champagne and beer slowed us down too. Sooo many bathroom breaks.

Believe it or not this was the first all girls weekend of my life, and I think it was a rousing success :)

Viva Deutschland! And girls! Girls are pretty great too.